Being Lonely and Being Alone
My daughter left to spend a couple of days with her siblings. And my son has went from school to work. So, I am sitting here alone, and I just started conversing with the Holy Spirit.
For most of my life I have been a loner. Most of the time it didn’t bother me because of the nature of man. But there are times when I can feel lonely around a crowd of people. As I reminisce, I am reminded of how I even felt lonely as a mother raising six kids.
What is different now is that I don’t feel that loneliness that had been so familiar to me all my life. That keen awareness of never fitting in. Particularly because it has not changed. People are either repelled by my spirit or drawn to it. And lately I have literally noticed that some people would display that “ugh” of disgust.
And would even attempt to hide it. But I can hear it in the spirit. And am no longer perplexed by this.
A Light in Darkness
I know that this is true. “Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them” (1 John 4: 4-5, KJV).
The reason I am no longer bothered is the stark realization that the individuals that display this are in a dark place. They are not happy with who they are. And they clearly feel as if everyone around them is judging them. Quick to be defensive and offended.
Now I understand this. “The Light shines on in the darkness, and the darkness did not understand it or overpower it or appropriate it or absorb it [and is unreceptive to it]” (John 1: 5, AMP).
Did you get that? They will not understand you. As the KJV puts it, the light shines in darkness and the darkness comprehendeth it not.
Expounding on the amplified version, to “appropriate” means to take something for one’s own use, typically without the owner’s permission. Synonyms for the same term is to expropriate, seize, take away, or take over.
They cannot overpower you. They cannot crush or defeat you. Or overwhelm you. This is why they are not receptive to you and of you.
The Blessing and the Warning
Notice that right after Jesus spoke the beatitudes on the mount. Beatitudes meaning “supreme blessings”. He then went on to admonish us, knowing that we would suffer just as He did and would. Because He is the source and creator of light. That part of the benediction is that we would be persecuted and reviled. Spoken evil of and falsely accused for His name’s sake. In some cases, slaughtered.
Reinforcing that we are the salt of the earth. To remain steadfast because salt is good for nothing when it loses its flavor.
If we don’t know who we are, we will be cast out to be trampled underfoot by this evil that already hates us. Recognize that we will never be accepted. But and if we forsake Him, it is written that He will also forsake us.
The Truth is a Two-Edged Sword
I explained this to a coworker recently and very bluntly. I am a light. Sent amid darkness. I no longer worry about how mere man feels about this because I have come to this place for a reason. As it is written if they accept me, they will partake of the blessings, well-being, prosperity, peace, and favor that come with me. Otherwise, I wipe the dust off my feet and keep it moving as a testimony against them.
Now, this is God’s confirmation and His judgment, “I assure you and most solemnly say to you, it will be more tolerable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that city [since it rejected the Messiah’s messenger]”, Matthew 10: 15, AMP).
Now let me go back a little bit to the verse before that and why I always stress that you know who you are in God. Verse 14 states, “Whoever does not welcome you, nor listens to your message, as you leave that house or that city, shake the dust [of it] off your feet [in contempt, breaking all ties]. Did you hear that?
Now let me tell you what the Spirit is imparting to me because none of us are perfect. Your “testimony” can be unvoiced, in integrity. How you present yourself. How you respond to others in need.
I don’t have to go around beating anyone over the head with His Word. He is too good for that. The works of His hand, His creation, the heavens, and the earth, speak volumes in themselves to who Jesus is.
We are meant to conduct ourselves wisely. Just as Joseph, David, Daniel, Ruth, Esther, and other patriarchs of the Bible.
Being compelled to write this I needed to clarify the distinction as others have. There is a difference between being lonely and being alone. Intimacy with the Spirit changes you from the former to the latter. Whereas I love spending time with my family, particularly as they grow older because it can be rare as they forge their own lives.
The Essence of Intimacy and His Will
Even more so, I turn inwardly, cherishing my time with the Spirit. Discerning God’s faithfulness. Knowing that it is not a coincidence that the final two verses in Matthew, the first book of the New Testament confirm His love. His constancy.
“Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations [help the people to learn of Me, believe in Me, and obey My words], baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always [remaining with you perpetually- regardless of circumstance, and on every occasion], even to the end of age.” (Matthew 28: 19-20, AMP).
Knowing that you were with Him from the beginning of time. Before the creation of the world. Let your decency and morality speak louder than words ever could. With meek and humble hearts.
Always coming from a place of love!!!
Originally written on October 11, 2022.